November Goals

November is the month to start taking control and to start living, i can talk the talk but i cant actually make myself do t and to me that is what you call disappointing your whole family, i have alot of things that i want to accomplish this month but as per usual im proberly gonna fail badly. I have a lot of things that i want to do but my brain stops me and nobody cant see that, it is the most powerful part in your body and it can be debilitating if it is controling you. 
I dont know exactly how i am gonna get over this but i will. I now need money very badly, what are the lengths would you go through if you needed money bad. 

I want to get a job at a clothes shop so i have to find the courage to go in and very desperately ask for a job and refuse the answer no. How do you do that? I would ofer to start straight away and do a few days voluntary so i get some experience under my pelt and do such a good job that they cant say no to me cause i would be there greatest asset! Then work as much as i can to get money for Christmas and get everyone pressies, but to be successful and do what i want to do, i have to work hard at my job for money then i would have to make videos in my spare time and blogs after work and make time for my boyfriend and friends. When you put it in a paragraph like this, it sounds like a big challenge, blogging and video making takes a lot of effort but you cant blog about nothing, you have to put money into doing something so you can post about it.

It would be fun if i was already getting money from this but i dont have that many viewers and that is cause i dont do it regular, but i keep trying and i will try and one day, i will have enough people to talk to instead of talkking to myself.

My weight has become an issue for me again and i need to stop eating food like i do, i now i have devised a plan so that everything i do i shall be righting down what i do and what i eat and what i feel. make put a weeks worth into a blog post if i keep it up! I wish i could go raw till 4 vegan cause i thing i would be able to do it, when i eventually get my own place that is what i shall do and they will be no temptation and if i go off the wagon it will be all my fault. My ideal weight for me is 140lbs/10 Stone. One day i shall get there and rove everyone wrong, watch this space. Xx